


We Were Bulletproof (Or So We Thought)

by apieformydean



Category: SHINee, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Character Death, Everybody Dies, Heartbreak, I'm so sorry, Jimin-centric, M/M, Not Happy, Tears, Zombies, i'm a bad person, pure angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-13 14:38:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11761989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apieformydean/pseuds/apieformydean
Summary: "But our happiness was fragile and you knew it, always reminding me smiling widely while we slayed the undead was inappropriate. I couldn't help it, though. Looking at you made me strong and fearless."TRIGGER WARNING IN THE DESCRIPTION





	We Were Bulletproof (Or So We Thought)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this fic is INCREDIBLY angsty and the happenings in it can be viewed as suicide (even though it's much more complicated)
> 
> I made sure to add some fluff to it but it just makes the whole thing even more painful
> 
> But still,, if I can say shit like this,, enjoy!!

I never meant for it to end like this.

In my mind, it was always you who made it, you know? You’ve always been the stronger one, with better strategy and faster gun skills… it was obvious it would be  _ you  _ to go on without  _ me  _ one day. You could make it here alone.

I can’t.

That day when it all started, we were meant to have dinner together. Do you remember? I dressed up, as nicely as I could because I wanted to impress you. After over a year of dating I still wanted to make sure you only had eyes for me. Namjoon never stopped teasing me about it (“The guy’s head over heels for you anyway, Jiminnie. Even if you wear a potato sack.”) but it didn’t matter because I saw the adoration in your eyes when you arrived to pick me up.

Then, everything burned. The people who we thought would always be there, left us. Key and Onew had been missing since day one, Hoseok got torn apart while trying to save Yoongi, we watched Jin and Namjoon die hand in hand… we haven't heard of Minho and Taehyung in months… but who’s counting, am I right?

Oh, and Jonghyun, too.

He was always just a tad too close to you, touching you too frequently, smiling at you a bit too brightly and I know I shouldn't say bad things about dead people but I hated him. Certainly didn't want him to get eaten, I'm not that much of a psycho… but I obviously wasn't devastated when he did. And you know exactly  _ why _ , you know it because I saw the same emotions on your face when we found Jeongguk dead.

I was freaking out, throwing myself at the ground and sobbing and cursing at whatever god might've heard me… and you held me and told me it would be okay because you knew it would. You were relieved. Even though he was nothing more than a friend - my best friend -, his death brought you a strange peace. And I completely understood.

The people who we thought would always be there, left us but it didn't matter because we had each other. You and me against the world, right?

Right, hyung?

It was our anniversary when I realised the world would never go back to how it was. That we would have to live like this and make the most of it, but strangely, as long as you were with me, I wasn't afraid, not even of dying. That's why I proposed to you then. You were so beautiful and totally stunned, and you said yes, a million times, over and over again and then we made love in that abandoned house, on the bed of some strangers…

And life was happy. I was happy for the first time after long, dark months filled with fear and remorse.

But our happiness was fragile and you knew it, always reminding me smiling widely while we slayed the undead was inappropriate. I couldn't help it, though. Looking at you made me strong and fearless.

It doesn't, not now.

I want you to wake up already, hyung! Or not, if waking up means you will come back as one if  _ them _ . I don't know what I want anymore.

But I didn't drag you in this empty garage with me, hiding from those things, to watch you die, you hear me? Your hand is- we’ve lost it, yes, but you can still function, I won't give up on you! The infection is probably not that bad, I cleaned the wound, remember that story we heard about the girl who survived after they've cleaned her bitten wound? You can do it, too, Taemin. Please hang in there, the fever should wear off and then- well. Then we can look for help, you and me, as we always do, you and-

You're moving. Oh god, you are alive… I'm sorry, I wanted to keep back the tears but I can't help it. We’ll be fine, you are so strong, hyung, just open your-

Your eyes…

They're plain white, staring up at me from where you're lying on the cold ground.

You are dead.

My brain is buzzing with white noise. No. It's not happening. You're not- you can't be! You  _ can't _ ! Stop playing around and get up, we need to go! They're growling and banging on the door of the garage, can't you hear it? Fucking stop this! I can't breathe from the sobs I'm keeping back.

_ Taemin _ …

I know I've promised. We both did. But, you see, the love of your life is a fucking coward. A coward who can still not tell the difference between this thing in front of me and you. I can't let go of whatever is left of you. Because if I do, I might lose myself in the process as well.

I can't make it without you.

You move and I can't. You sit up, clumsily. Suddenly, I can't feel my own heart beating at all. My insides feel like they turned into air.

I'm not afraid of dying. I know I will. Locked and trapped in a room with a newborn, starving zombie who I refuse to kill, my chances are ridiculously low.

I’m sorry, Taemin. For not keeping a single promise I made. The promise of keeping you safe. Of make a family together. Of finding a place that's safe for us.

You realise I'm here. Yes, I'm a human and yes, you are hungry. I almost feel relieved when you finally crawl to me, still unsure of how this works, and grab my arm. You bite down, instincts kicking in motion. You sink your teeth into the flesh, and I scream out.

It burns, with ten times of the force of fire. It's what I imagine hell would feel like. But I know I deserve it so I don't put up a fight.

I couldn't save you, I couldn't do the single thing I put first.

When there's no flesh left on my arm, you move and bite down my neck. I feel my skin and my artery underneath it tearing open and I can't think about anything but the endless, excruciating pain. I know I'm screaming but I can't hear my own voice. The world is dizzy. I'm losing blood and my system is shutting down.

It will be over soon.

I shut my eyes so tightly I can see stars and grit my teeth with such force it's a miracle I still haven't broken my jaw. I want to take a look at you for the last time, but…

I don't know what happens after we die but just in case I will remember this all, I want to remember how you looked like when you were alive.

Your raven hair and pale skin and warm, welcoming eyes, your graceful movements and your adorable smile. Your expression when you looked at me and I knew I was the luckiest bastard on Earth to have you.

The sounds and the feeling of pain start to fade rapidly.

I'm sorry, hyung. I'm so sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are well appreciated!! Pls tell me about your pain bc the gods know it hurt me as I was writing it too


End file.
